rocks!
Ah yes it does and here’s a news flash, it is different to being engaged/living together at least for me. There is a real sense of a life shared, vows made, and union celebrated. There is a newness to our relationship that owes a lot to the mere act of public acceptance of one another. Doesn’t matter if in a field, a church an office or a hotel, sky diving or bungee jumping, traditional or unconventional. WE spoke in front of friends and family and they witnessed, bore witness to, our decision to be a couple.
I’m not an old fashioned type of gal; I am a feminist and always will be. What I am not is a “femi-nazi” and for the benefit of those who have expressed their opinion to me on the following point: I will occasionally use the husbands surname. Yes shock horror I may occasionally sign myself or respond to my ” married” name. No I shall not be signing up to change it on credit cards or in work, but i won’t be crying into my vodka and white because someone calls me Mrs. FYI my “maiden” name is my father’s. Why do women get so het up about exchanging one man’s name for another? It’s convention, it’s tradition – but you can call yourself Lady Blurberry Fairy if you fancy. Get over it!
Other aspects of married life: people are incredibly and embarrassingly generous with wedding presents. Truly gobsmaked. Equally people are generous in spirit when it comes to wishing you well. A friend blogged about our wedding wishing us well and complete strangers posted comments and good wishes, followed up a few weeks later with requests for news of how the day went. We often underestimate how good natured people are, how kind, how interested in their fellows.
The day itself was incredible, the honeymoon was a joy, and since coming home (last friday) we’re enjoying a return to normality and daily life which is a lovely thing when you’ve had so much to do in a year as we have; now suddenly we can do some of the things we want. Start a family maybe…definitely get fitter and healthier; return to archery and tennis; travel (ireland, we can;t get time off again this year for anything further afield!)
So advanced warning: pictures and a long assed description of the day itself and travels in Italy will be forthcoming soon!
3 responses so far ↓
ubuntucat // April 29, 2008 at 3:46 pm |
Women get het up about exchanging one man’s name for another, because most men would never exchange their father’s name for their wife’s father’s last name.
bodhranbanger // April 29, 2008 at 4:08 pm |
It’s woolly thinking, though, on the part of women. (Actually the comparison would be exchanging their mother’s last name for their wife’s last name but hey, whatever the variation) – if you don’t want to don’t do it.
If you do, fine, it’s just tradition.
It’s a silly thing to get worked up about. In my experience in business not one single woman I know got more respect or a higher paycheck for inisting on using her maiden name, nor did she lose out by using a “married” moniker.
Maybe someday men will choose to take their wives name – and many couples do the dreaded double barrell as it is – but it remains a convention of our culture to allow women to use the “mrs X” title if they want.
It’s not actually a legal name change, there is no direct legislation to support it, it comes under the heading of “named through usage” ie a name like a nickname or alias or performing/writing alias that is accepted as a legal name through usage. Unless you change your name through deed poll you remain Miss Y, society simply allows the option of adopting a “family” name. But if a husband took a wives name he has the same right to do so.
Easy Name Change // August 10, 2008 at 5:51 am |
Yes, men too are changing their name, and there is no standard for what can be done with a new surname! I have seen and heard of so many weird ways of adapting a new last name, and no one seems very precious about it. I’m one of 85% of girls who went down the traditional path and changed my name to my husbands. No big deal really….