Well married life has barely started (one month married last Friday) and we have the great baby adventure ahead of us. We have always planned to come off the pill and start trying asap after the wedding. I’ll be 40 later this year and Mr BB is 38 so…we’re not assuming anything. This thread may well lead us down the route of assisted fertility or indeed, we have discussed not being able to conceive at all: but we’re being as positive as possible about natural conception and so (stuffed to the gills with folic acid and vitamins) it’s off down the road of temping charts, cycles, clear blue monitors and more.
So…what now? well isn’t it the weirdest flaming thing? I like to be hands on when i have a project; i buy magazines, I research on-line, I read books. So far I’ve read two Zita West’s (very good) and The Irish Couple’s Guide, by Fiona McPhillips (excellent) and in so far as I can follow them (my brain shuts down after a while, when i try to remember is it B12 or B6 or Vitamin A or what I should be taking) I’m doing all I can.
And waiting.
I have found some websites that are good but…well I’m not sure I fit in. I can’t sympathize with women who post about being jealous of pregnant friends and co workers. I can think of few things so abhorrent as to begrudge another her child. I have the sense of competition - some people announce pregnancies as if they have triumphed over their barren sisters. I don’t want to be one of these women, but most of all, I fear that they started off as normal sane reasonable people and that the process of TTC turned them into walking biological clocks. I can sympathise; gods know I gave up on having kids until I met Mr BB, and may even now have to accept that it won’t happen. But I can’t bear to let it diminish us, either of us. And I believe that walking around seething with jealousy at others fortunate enough to conceive, does diminish one.
on the other hand there is an undoubted comfort in hearing other’s stories and especially reading answers to questions you would love to ask yourself.
Ah well, all part of the journey of life. Wish us well :)
4 responses so far ↓
diane // May 8, 2008 at 8:57 pm
I had my first baby when I was 30 - not so terribly ancient by today’s standards, but I was definitely among the older mothers pushing a swing in the park and waiting for nursery school to end.
As a mature mother, I was comfortable taking care of my child, had a well-established relationship with my husband, and was finished with most of my formal education. I took a career hit by staying home with my son and daughter when they were young, but telecommuting is a viable option these days for many women.
If you and you husband do become parents, I’m sure you’ll be wonderful ones. If not, you will still have full and meaningful lives.
Good luck and best wishes.
diane
bodhránbanger // May 13, 2008 at 12:30 pm
ah thanks Diane, I needed that
especially the simple rational statement that lives can be full with or without kids, (though obviously we’d prefer with !) Thanks for that 
zygotedreams // May 21, 2008 at 3:47 am
I sympathize very much with the not fitting in on message boards/ websites that are out there for the trying to conceive. I am slightly younger than you, but my hubby turns 40 next spring, and we are not willing to go through a lot of expensive/stressful infertility treatment — we eventually want to adopt even if we don’t conceive. Good luck to you and your growing family!
bodhranbanger // May 28, 2008 at 2:30 pm
thanks Zygotedreams…good to know I’m not the only one lol
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