Ever noticed that some days have themes? Something keep cropping up, a sort of emotional zeitgeist? Well today’s theme is friendship. I just found out a lovely person, a good friend, has been stabbed in the back by her so called best friends. Another acquaintance has been telling me a sorry tale of friendship betrayed and here I am, mulling over a friendship that seems to be dead if not quite buried.
Friends. I love mine, I’ve had most of them for years. I am a good friend – I am loyal and I’ll do anything for them that I can. In return I do expect loyalty; I value friendship very highly. So as a result I have some incredibly good friends. But also, I’ve been horribly let down by people I thought were friends. You can have light friendships and never get hurt or you can have deep ones and run the risk of being very hurt. I have always chosen the latter.
Two years ago the person I thought was my best friend, like a sister turned against me. This woman shared a house with me for 6 years, was a “best friend” for 10 years, was treated by my family as if she was a daughter, a sibling, an aunt. I nursed her when she was sick, kept her secrets for her and trusted her withotu reflection.
Then she decided that I was in her way and she dumped me as a friend, overnight, spectacularly. She left me holding a lease on a house I couldn’t afford and looking after things that were as much her responsibility as mine. And I still tried to keep our friendship.
I don’t regret that but now, after weeks of being ignored despite texts and emails – has the time come to let it go? It’s giving up on ten years of friendship and shared memories but – if I email ehr again it’s like stalking her. I keep making excuses for her but in the last year she has not shown one iota of interest in anything going on in my life. When she emails she gives a bulletin newsletter type email about her life. I used to reply to each point, asking about things she was doing but I gave up. In reply I would get an email three weeks later with a new list of news items, and no reference either to the previous one or my questions. Call me thick – many have – but even I can take a hint.
So i looking at my mobile phone and thinking…will I do it? Will I give her one last text and see if she replies?
Or should I just let this one go….? Are some friendships just not worth it?
