Well I got my first BFN – in tcc-ing terms (see any Trying To Conceive or TTC website or forum) a Big Fat Negative, on a pregnancy test. And I was surprised at how it affected me.
I really didn’t think we’d get pregnant straight out of the traps, I was quite realistic about it all, but staring at that very plain, and very uncompromising single line was quite depressing. I felt surprisingly disappointed and realised somewhere deep inside I was not quite as prepared and rational as I had fondly imagined. It kept striking me over and over again how there was no getting around it – it was “no”. Up til then i could secretly examine every twinge of my traitorous body and try to pretend it was an early symptom of pregnancy. But once you test, there it is in black and white – or rather pink and white. The fantasy is over for another month.
On the bright side however, once this cycle ends, the first “real” cycle since coming off the pill begins and the Clearblue Fertility Monitor can start earning its keep 
